The Telly Nelly Blog

"Frost" Filled Wednesday before LOGO Thursday

One day until the premier of LOGO, the first non-pay-per-view gay TV network. To find out if you can get LOGO (it's not available in MY area), go to www.logoonline.com and see for yourself. Even though I can't *watch* the shows, you bet I'll be letting you know what's good on LOGO each and every day. Except for the weekends, of course. The Telly Nelly does have a life outside of this blog, you know. (Mainly it involves eating sour gummi and thinking about naked men.)

What's on the Telly Tonight?

I must have been living under a rock in the mid 80's - how else could I have missed "An Early Frost" - one of the first made-for-TV movies to deal with the AIDS epidemic? Oh yes, I was in junior high. In Maine. (That pretty much says it all.) Anyhoo, this NBC original will be on TV Land tonight at 8 p.m. and stars Aidan Quinn as a young gay lawyer stricken with the disease. Supposedly this movie introduced AIDS to the American public - why oh why didn't they listen Aidan?

If you'd rather satisfy your craving for Jodie Foster tonight, check out her directorial debut, "Little Man Tate" tonight at 8 p.m. on WE. It stars Harry Connick Jr. (yum) and centers on the relationship between a mom and her very smart son. Touching? Yes. Exciting? Like dry toast. (If you crave action, check out the picks below.)

Lesbian schoolgirl spies ahoy! If like campy plots, fighting schoolgirls and short-short skirts, you'll love "D.E.B.S," a movie that finds four young spies fighting a criminal mastermind. Definitely a must see for those who lust for ladies - check it out tonight at 8:40 p.m. on the Sundance Channel.

From lesbian spies to vampire hookers, Wednesday television has a bit of everything. While I'm not into gore, I just love "From Dusk Til Dawn" - mainly because Quentin Tarantino's life comes to a grisly end. (Can't get enough of that, I tell you!) Mexican strip bars, whores, vampires and George Clooney make this movie a fun way to spend an evening - in mock terror! Vamp with me, won't you - tonight at 10 p.m. on Encore.

What NOT to Watch?

Why must you insist upon watching "Dancing with the Stars" on ABC at 9 p.m.? Don't you know this kind of programming leads to more horrible spin-offs such as "Skating with the Stars?" I kid you not my dears - stop watching before I have to get physical. (And s0000000000 not in a good way.)

"Great" TV this Afternoon; Mixed Bag Tonight...

Proving that The Telly Nelly can succumb to the lowest common television denominator, I watched "Hell's Kitchen" last night. I assure you, my *only* reason for tuning in was to see if Jessica (the lesbian) would take the guff from Chef Ramsey. Surprisingly, she did. She must want that restaurant awfully bad - personally, after working in that kitchen, the last thing I'd want is to own or run a restaurant. Hell, I'd be tempted never to eat out again! That Ramsey is a total,  utter, complete bastard. And hey- lay off the "fat people" Ramsey, you're no looker yourself. Overall I was impressed by the way Jessica handled herself, but if she wants to stay in the game, she'd better be proactive and nip her competition in the bud before she becomes last nights leftovers.

What's on the Telly Tonight?

Oh sweet Tuesday. Let's shake things up!

For history buffs and those who just can't enough of Alexander the Great, tune into part one of "The True Story of Alexander the Great" on the History Channel today at 4 p.m. This three-part series mostly focuses on his maneuvers on the field of battle, not between the sheets, but I've been promised they do discuss his penchant for buggery. (Not exactly in those words, I'm sure.)

My hands-down, top pick for tonight is "Married to the Mob" on HBO Comedy tonight at 8 p.m. Possibly the best Michelle Pfeiffer role (outside of Catwoman, 'natch) ever and the supporting cast ain't bad either. I'll admit I get a heaping helping of guilty pleasure from seeing Alec Baldwin ("Cucumber" Frank de Marco) in a pair of skimpy black undies. (Yes, I'm embarrassed. And yes, I know this pic isn't from "MTTM" but it's still hot.) If you haven't seen this comic gem, you're missing out. Catch it tonight if you get HBO Comedy, it's well worth the two-hour investment!

Speaking of buggers, Bravo is having a mini "Blow Out" marathon starting at 8 p.m tonight. The reality show follows  the triumphs and tribulations of Johnathan, an incredibly annoying hair salon owner. No, he's not gay, but he's not afraid to cry. Sure, he's stylish, but he's an ass. An incredibly narcissistic ass. (Bitter? Not moi!) Bravo departs from Johnathan's hairy-scary world at 10 p.m. to bring you yet another episode of "Queer Eye For the Straight Guy" (they help out a slimmed down college boy) but then it's right back to the cut and blow at 11 p.m.

If you didn't catch "We are Dad" on Showtime last week, you've got another chance tonight at 9:30 p.m. It's the sad story of two pediatric AIDS nurses who take in HIV+ infants and then are challenged by the state of Florida for being gay foster parents. Florida, you repulse and sicken The Telly Nelly. (And you look like a penis.)

What NOT to Watch!

"Welcome to the Dollhouse" on Sundance at 8 p.m. I don't care how "acclaimed" this movie is - it's an absolutely revolting portrayal of pseudo teen angst. Yeah, I was ostracized in High School too, but you don't see me going around trying to get raped. Really, put this movie in the sh*t can. I'll admit Heather Matarazzo does an excellent job acting the part, but the plot is so nauseating I just can't bear to watch again. EVER.

A Lesbian on "Hell's Kitchen" & "Same Sex America"

Golly, Monday already? Sigh...

What's on the Telly Tonight?

The big GLBT program to watch tonight is "Same Sex America" on Showtime at 8 p.m. In this special documentary, Showtime digs deep into same-sex matrimony to highlight the struggles and triumphs of seven gay couples in Massachusetts. As we all know so far all's well that ends well, but what about the homos in Kansas? Won't someone please think of the homos in Kansas? (The state, not the band. You're silly!)

Not wanting to be left out in the cold, at 8 p.m. here!TV offers up "here! with Pride," a program that reflects on gay pride, its history and purpose. Gay pride has a purpose? Now *this* show I'm watching. (It's only 30 minutes - why not watch?)

God damn it - there's a lesbian (Jessica) on Hell's Kitchen, which means I have to start watching. I really don't enjoy Mr. Ramsey and find his confrontational cooking-is-more-important-than-oxygen attitude revolting, but hopefully he'll get his on this show eventually. (Perhaps tonight a contestant will fillet the bloody bastard as the cameras roll...now that would be a treat!) Tune in at 9 p.m.  on Fox to see if spiky-haired Jessica can take the heat of Ramsey's kitchen. (She looks like she can hold her own...)

What NOT to Watch!

"Boat Trip" at 8 p.m. on The Movie Channel (TMC). Shame on you Cuba - not for your acting, but for starring in this horribly stereotypical "comedy" in which two "straight guys" unwittingly book passage on a gay cruise. This is one pointlessly bad movie and a total waste of good film. (Yes, it's that horrid. Trust The Telly Nelly!)